First off, con-fucking-gratsssss... to the weather Gods and their unpararelled and oppressive heat wave this summer in Las Vegas and it's surrounding neighborhoods, where the wiser have moved, because of course, as I've stated before, Central LV is turning into New Jersey, a fucking sewage dump. It's cool (and not literally AT ALL THESE DAYS) of course, 2 visit and party in, but to live near-- anywhere near-- the strip, is for twenty-somethings fresh out of Oregon who view it as an adventure, and HOES. Real life fucking hoes; prozzi's and I don't mean some obscure new age Italian bistro. Whores, Jack; that's if you need your art spoon fed 2 ya.
I'm still in bouncer mode out here, now the head of the door (security) at another club, a day pool, which are daytime pool party clubs, which have gotten very popular and one that is under the brand of a very prestigious individual; one who's name I can not say here as he employs net surfers to find any negatives about his name or legacy, and has any discovered culprit dropped out of small cargo planes and then hunted down on remote islands like wild animals. Funny thing is though, I have no true complaints about him or the company; the fucking food in the EDR is pretty damn good; I've been known to induldge many a morning or night on some tempura shrimp by the gajangle and miso soups and fucking eggplant sliders; I've also been made the head of the door at one of the hotter day pools in town and been left alone to do things my way more or less all summer;
all skeweringly hot, Jew-frying, Cuban drowning summer; It's so hot out here, black folks actually now can only be refered to as black and not Afro-American or even brown; The indians and midgets have gone into hiding; the Mexicans are shoting eachother less and landscaping and car mechanic work has become solely twilight affairs; I think the average has been 115 degrees in the shade, no breeze, and once or twice it rained and the locals dropped 2 their knees like Tibet monks and tongue- kissed the pavement. People still can't drive out here in alternative weather conditions, mind u. Remember we have people from all over the world constantly driving around our streets out here, many from a whole other planet, called LA.
Among all these foreigners crashing all four corners of the valley, included are old Mexican women whose only previous experience driving has been on goats and donkeys. (that's not ebonic code for certain car corps either, i mean land mammals here, mama) AND there's the Asians; I love Asians. Let's begin that way; I love the people (most times), the food, the women, the kung fu, the ninja and even small unthreatening penises. To an Asian women, I'm black from the waist down, which is seriously fucking appealing.
BUT Las Vegas has Asians from all over and all of them are attempting 2 drive in the same area. You do the math. These people have invented some great fighting moves and savory dishes; they're women can backrub you and blow you into another dimension... BUT... they should be kept away from steering wheels the way the Mogwai were meant to be kept from sunlight, water and eating after midnight. (basically, Gizmo had the same rules a fat kid has at fat camp)
An Asian man, while site-seeing with a carload of his family and children, each trying to drink in every monument and see each attraction out of the window at the same time (so as to steal it and redesign it better), will drive his rented minivan directly into a cinderblock wall, if it starts to drizzle. Welcome to Sin City. Not everybody knows these little tidbits about this town, but i will reveal a few until someone from MGM shows up at my house with four lawyers and demands i sign something saying in four hundred pages that i will cease to tell the truth. and the Asians will be in the paperwork for at least 10 to 15 pages. (How come the people most closely connected to the aliens in outerspace can't handle land vehicles?)
Anyway, a culture nor my job is the issue for the moment; A former NFL minor celeb is my boss and he's pretty bad ass; I had back pain he gave me a week off and never asked anything except how I was doing. I texted back that i was fine and that Hawaii truly is a great place to fuck your back pain away.
I was lying of course; I was on a leveled twin matresses icing my assbone and crying for help. My children were stepping over me, sighing because they had to actually lift a leg to get 2 the playstation 3;
I'm lying again; we're still stuck on playstation 2. (we can't afford the 3 yet-- and of course, i mean emotionally)
As for the career, well, let's put it plain. This is the slowest rise to being a famous artist i have ever been on. At 6, I'm already making my own comic books. AT 7, published short stories in the Miami Herald; At 9, being called an artistic genius by college professors; at 10, making my own films; at 13, writing songs; at 15, in LA recruited by a manager; by 18, in Belle Aire, eating shrimp with Nicole Ritchie;
At 35, masturbating 2 Jersey Shore, using only my own self-absorbed tears as LUBE.
Gotta' jump up @ 2 and get those chillin's from the schoolyard or the other soccer moms will frown and look down their noses at me. Gotta' sell blood sweat and tears for peanuts to make rent and rent the electricity...
Gotta get those groceries, BITCH.
Did I miss a movie? Didn't this brand of character end up with the world by it's nipples by film's end? Were we not all crying and clapping for the victor? some of us even harboring snot-bubbles and giving eachother high fives? WTF?
Well, at least cuss words haven't been outlawed yet. ~ Gabe Alberro
I'm still in bouncer mode out here, now the head of the door (security) at another club, a day pool, which are daytime pool party clubs, which have gotten very popular and one that is under the brand of a very prestigious individual; one who's name I can not say here as he employs net surfers to find any negatives about his name or legacy, and has any discovered culprit dropped out of small cargo planes and then hunted down on remote islands like wild animals. Funny thing is though, I have no true complaints about him or the company; the fucking food in the EDR is pretty damn good; I've been known to induldge many a morning or night on some tempura shrimp by the gajangle and miso soups and fucking eggplant sliders; I've also been made the head of the door at one of the hotter day pools in town and been left alone to do things my way more or less all summer;
all skeweringly hot, Jew-frying, Cuban drowning summer; It's so hot out here, black folks actually now can only be refered to as black and not Afro-American or even brown; The indians and midgets have gone into hiding; the Mexicans are shoting eachother less and landscaping and car mechanic work has become solely twilight affairs; I think the average has been 115 degrees in the shade, no breeze, and once or twice it rained and the locals dropped 2 their knees like Tibet monks and tongue- kissed the pavement. People still can't drive out here in alternative weather conditions, mind u. Remember we have people from all over the world constantly driving around our streets out here, many from a whole other planet, called LA.
Among all these foreigners crashing all four corners of the valley, included are old Mexican women whose only previous experience driving has been on goats and donkeys. (that's not ebonic code for certain car corps either, i mean land mammals here, mama) AND there's the Asians; I love Asians. Let's begin that way; I love the people (most times), the food, the women, the kung fu, the ninja and even small unthreatening penises. To an Asian women, I'm black from the waist down, which is seriously fucking appealing.
BUT Las Vegas has Asians from all over and all of them are attempting 2 drive in the same area. You do the math. These people have invented some great fighting moves and savory dishes; they're women can backrub you and blow you into another dimension... BUT... they should be kept away from steering wheels the way the Mogwai were meant to be kept from sunlight, water and eating after midnight. (basically, Gizmo had the same rules a fat kid has at fat camp)
An Asian man, while site-seeing with a carload of his family and children, each trying to drink in every monument and see each attraction out of the window at the same time (so as to steal it and redesign it better), will drive his rented minivan directly into a cinderblock wall, if it starts to drizzle. Welcome to Sin City. Not everybody knows these little tidbits about this town, but i will reveal a few until someone from MGM shows up at my house with four lawyers and demands i sign something saying in four hundred pages that i will cease to tell the truth. and the Asians will be in the paperwork for at least 10 to 15 pages. (How come the people most closely connected to the aliens in outerspace can't handle land vehicles?)
Anyway, a culture nor my job is the issue for the moment; A former NFL minor celeb is my boss and he's pretty bad ass; I had back pain he gave me a week off and never asked anything except how I was doing. I texted back that i was fine and that Hawaii truly is a great place to fuck your back pain away.
I was lying of course; I was on a leveled twin matresses icing my assbone and crying for help. My children were stepping over me, sighing because they had to actually lift a leg to get 2 the playstation 3;
I'm lying again; we're still stuck on playstation 2. (we can't afford the 3 yet-- and of course, i mean emotionally)
As for the career, well, let's put it plain. This is the slowest rise to being a famous artist i have ever been on. At 6, I'm already making my own comic books. AT 7, published short stories in the Miami Herald; At 9, being called an artistic genius by college professors; at 10, making my own films; at 13, writing songs; at 15, in LA recruited by a manager; by 18, in Belle Aire, eating shrimp with Nicole Ritchie;
At 35, masturbating 2 Jersey Shore, using only my own self-absorbed tears as LUBE.
Gotta' jump up @ 2 and get those chillin's from the schoolyard or the other soccer moms will frown and look down their noses at me. Gotta' sell blood sweat and tears for peanuts to make rent and rent the electricity...
Gotta get those groceries, BITCH.
Did I miss a movie? Didn't this brand of character end up with the world by it's nipples by film's end? Were we not all crying and clapping for the victor? some of us even harboring snot-bubbles and giving eachother high fives? WTF?
Well, at least cuss words haven't been outlawed yet. ~ Gabe Alberro
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